Saturday, March 17, 2012

The Unknown News: Hollywood Actress Rakhi Pawant Alleged in Match Fixing


Hollywood Actress Rakhi Pawant Alleged in Match Fixing

Dhaka: Rakhi Pawant, a struggling Hollywood actor have been alleged in a match-fixing scandal surrounding yesterday's Asia Cup Cricket match between Indian and Bangladesh in Dhaka, Bangladesh.

A local newspaper, The Times of Hindustan claims that a Hollywood star had enticed Indian players to under-perform. Allegation of match-fixing surfaced in the media with claims that players were being influenced with a big hope of a win in the next match against Pakistan.

Pawant, who is best known for her vampy role in 2009 idiot-box bomb, Pawant ka Swayam"Chamatakar", denies any link to the match fixing and told the media in a special interview with IndiaRadio that, "I have no connection with the match-fixing episode that has been linked to me."

However, IndiaRadio's host Dr. Preevardhan Novedi, who is best known for waking people with his "Chain se sona hai toh jag jaiye", has a completely different story to tell. According to Dr. Novedi, Miss Pawant was seen escorting Indian skipper M.S. Roni to have a jaw with Bangladeshi skipper M. Fahim, where they where heard discussing there tensed marital life.

On investigating deeper, our reporter found that the jaw between the three were being mistakenly recorded by the stump camera, which was kept on when both the skippers were being escorted to the stump by the rising Hollywood star.

The transcript of the conversation is:
Fahim: Hello Pawant darling, long time no see, I was started forming an opinion that you have started enjoying that "chamatkar" thingy a lot and so have forgotten your old smoochers. And by the way, who is this man who is following you?
Pawant: Oh no Fahim, the "chamatkar" were not at all interesting, its just that I was busy doing a project with Mika Phooch. And this gentleman is Roni, he will be captaining against you. I saw him doing errands for his wife Rakshashi, so I thought I better bring him with me to have a chit chat with you. I hope its fine with you.
Fahim: Ofcourse darling, anything for you. Assalamu alaikum Roni biradar, I see you tensed lately.
Roni: Walaikum assalam Fahim. Yeah, you are right, I have been under-going much stress lately.
Fahim: Why so? Is everything alright? I hope you can share your problems with me. We are competitors only on the fields, otherwise we are good friends, aren't we?
Roni: Yeah, you are right bro, we are best friends forever. But what to tell. I am in no position to speak.
Fahim: Oh common, you can speak to me.
Roni: Oh well, you might be knowing that my wife Rakshahi have a brother who plays Cricket.
Fahim: Ya, so what about him?
Roni: Err, he wants a place in Indian Team and so Rakshashi is pressurizing me to approach our board president Mr. Sharad Gawar and to get a place for him in the team, but as you might be knowing, he is a politician and is demanding a bribe of 100 crore rupees.
Fahim: That's a huge amount. Selectors back in Bangladesh only ask for a sum of a crore of rupee in addition to 10 Kg of fish for their "Machhi Jhol". But that's a small amount in comparison of what you have been asked for. It looks like everyone in your country wants a hundred these days.
Roni: 100 crore is not a big problem, I somehow have managed to arrange it doing all those Fair'n'Lonely and Sucks Baniyan advertisement, the main issue is that elderly person in our team, named Achin Tendulkar.
Fahim: What about him? I have heard that people in your country have very high respect for him and that they are demanding a Bharat Khatam Award for him.
Roni: That's true, but Mr. Gawar is saying that Rakshashi's brother can only replace Achin in the team, and that they won't be able to drop Achin out of the team until he don't scores a century. But Achin is a smart man, he deliberately is under performing as he know that the day he will complete his hundredth century, the board will drop him.
Fahim: That doesn't look like a a big problem to me. As a matter of fact, I can help you with it.
Roni: And how is that?
Fahim: Oh, its very easy, we will play so poorly that he definitely will score a century.
Roni: Will you do it for me?
Fahim: Yeah sure, but I will be wanting something in return.
Roni: And what is it?
Fahim: Not much, unlike others I am a team person. But our team is loosing lately, so I want a win for our team.
Roni: Fine, deal.
Fahim: Is it O.K. with you? How will you explain to your media that how you lost to an underdogs? Won't the fans kill you?
Roni: No, they won't. We have a crazy fan following in our country. They don't worry whether the nation wins or lose. All they worry is that Achin scores a century or not.
Fahim: Well, fine then.
So as you can see that we have clear evidence that proves that match-fixing took place.

When our reporter Arnab Bhainswami, asked Bangladesh Cricket Association's President P. Chitakam about the incident, he said that he won't comment much except speaking about the camera man Rahul Kandi who was responsible of managing the stump camera saying that, "Rahul Kandi has been charged for carelessness and irresponsible behavior which has lead to so much mess which otherwise wouldn't have been possible if Kandi would have been little more professional and responsible. So Kandi has been asked to resign from his post."

Indian Cricket Board's Secretary Pig Vijay Singh told our reporter that he condemn such activities and promises that harsh actions will be taken against the guilty. He was also found cursing Roni and Gawar for not sharing the bribe money with him, as he being the secretary of the board.

Meanwhile, people where seen celebrating Achin's (Ten)^2 (Ten)^2DorKar all round the country. Managing Director of Preliance Company, Guru Bhai Ambani spoke to media persons that now since Achin have completed his hundredth century, worker can return to their works and steep rise in revenue can be observed.

~Love, Light and Truth;
Harshad Gupta
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